i've got you under my skin (r)

[alonzo castillo]

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[atrb=style, background-color: #F2F2F2; border-top: 5px solid #A75252; border-bottom: 5px solid #A75252][STYLE=margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom:-13px; margin-right: 50px; text-align:right; font-size:20px; font-family: courier new; text-transform: uppercase; color: #972323; text-shadow: 0.1em 0em 0.1em #432424;]I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME[/style][STYLE=margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom:-50px; margin-right: 10px; text-align:right; font-size:12px; font-family: courier new; text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em 0em #432424; text-transform: uppercase; color: #E6CFCF;]'CAUSE I WANT YOU ALL TO MYSELF![/style][STYLE=margin-left: 10px; margin-top: 50px; margin-right: 10px; text-align:center; font-size:9px; font-family: georgia; color: #8C8C8C; border-top: 5px dotted #A75252;] [/style] [STYLE=font-size:9px; font-family: arial; margin-left:15px; width: 300px; height: 250px; overflow: auto; text-align: justify; background-color: #F7F7F7; border-top: 4px solid #A75252; border-bottom: 4px solid #A75252; padding: 8px; color: #6E6E6E]He was special. He liked the thought of it. He was special. He was important. Someone did want him outside of his family. He was wanted. His heart swelled at the thought. He wasn't the weaker, girlier twin. He wasn't a mutant. He wasn't anything but himself. It was nice, he thought. It was nice to have that kind of freedom. But maybe that was asking for too much.  He was pulled closer again. The other has rested his head on the redhead's and he only smiled gently. They used to do this sometimes. Not often outside of his bedroom, granted. But it happened very now and then. His heart seized at the words 'I love you'. He found difficulty breathing again and Alonzo could only stand still, looking on. It was embarrassing to hear and even more embarrassing to say. But he was almost, almost glad to hear it and wanted to believe it. Believe that all his candied words were as honest as they sounded.  But there was so much doubt that lingered in his mind. Apprehensive, he found himself still responding to his soft gestures. Every touch set his senses on fire. Perhaps it was better to stop denying it, he thought. Stop denying everything and accept it. But he had been hurt before. He had no intentions of being hurt again.  Noah was crying now, he realized. Slender fingers moved again, brushing away the tears that seemed to refuse to stop. "Didn't I say to stop crying?" He commented softly, smiling a bit. "Your eyes get puffy. It's not cute." Alonzo laughed again, only holding his hands there quietly while he brushed back the tears. No more crying. No more arguing.  His lips moved against the other's and he only smiled the moment it was over. "I missed you too, Noah. So much.• He only wanted to stay like this, he thought. Forever.  [/style]MADE BY KIWII OF BTN & OTE

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[noah pelham]

noah let out a bitter laugh when he realized he was crying. there weren't tears enough, it felt - he hadn't really cried for a long time, not since he was a child. it was actually a huge relief, to sit here and cry and let himself be comforted. to say he'd had a childhood in which he allowed his parents to love him would have been a sick, cruel joke - for pelham children, there was no childhood. there was birth, and then there was life. ambition and power had been the source of all things in their life. adeline just hadn't been able to keep up with that.

noah shut his eyes tightly, reveling in the feel of alonzo's fingers, trying to treasure the memory and tuck it away in his mind for safe keeping. just in case. just in case he messed up again, in case he forgot what he was supposed to be doing and strayed away again. the idea was entirely plausible, you know - his job was, besides alonzo, the center of his life. without it he wouldn't ever get anywhere in life. it was the only thing he knew how to do. if he lost his position as ambassador, how was he going to support himself? or allie, for that matter? how was he going to do anything?

the tears ceased, like putting a stopper in the dam. he opened his eyes and let alonzo wipe away the tears, resting his forehead against the other's and swallowing.

"it was a poor thing, what i did," he murmured, feeling suddenly exhausted. "but now that you know, i feel worlds better. and entirely exhausted." he gave another heaving sigh, pulling back to kiss alonzo's forehead, the bridge of his nose, his eyelashes. he wanted to kiss away every single pain and worry creasing that lovely face. "i promise i'll make things better."

oh the shame that sent me off from the god that i loved

was the same that sent me into your arms

words ### tagged alonzo comments sniff sniff
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